Where am I?

Recently I have been spending a lot of time in the arrivals/departure lounge for frequent flyers. A few weeks ago, “Chemo Air” landed after a not to be recommended turbulent ride. There were altogether too many ups and downs (literally and figuratively), and I used up my quota of barf bags. Despite the competence of my trusty pilot/oncologist, the care and compassion of the angelic flight attendants/nurses,( who spared no effort in making the journey as easy as possible for me), I still felt like an empty shell with nothing left inside me. It reminded me of my growing up years on a farm in southern Alberta where every week I would help my father prepare chickens to be sold to private customers. After dispatching the birds, we would dunk them briefly in boiling water, remove all the feathers and eviscerate them. Well, I too had my feathers (hair) removed, and during my treatments felt as though I was being eviscerated! At least there was no boiling water, and I certainly had not been dispatched! 😀

But now that part of the journey is over! Hallelujah! However, A few weeks ago I had an interesting side trip to the ER at the Grand River Hospital, where I was diagnosed with an extremely painful lung infection – not so unusual given my compromised immune system. What an experience that was! To “quarantine ” me from the bacterial petri dish that is your typical ER waiting room, I was given a chair in a tiny alcove next to a swinging door where I spent 2 less than idyllic hours observing the hospital traffic. After I was upgraded to a bed, there followed the usual round of procedures – blood work, EKG, X Rays, and CT scan. One dose of Percocet, a week’s supply of antibiotics in my hot little hand, and seven fraught hours later we were on our way home! It’s a day trip to be avoided if at all possible! So now I am back in my metaphorical lounge, waiting somewhat impatiently for the next leg of my journey to begin. Another cat scan just this past week was to determine whether the antibiotics have been effective. Assuming a green light on that front, radiation treatments should commence shortly. This will consist of 15 treatments over a 3 week period. If I’m lucky I could be finished by September!

Will my cancer be gone? Will I be in remission? Will I be “cured” ? Or might I be facing further treatment? I fervently hope that I can put paid to this whole episode. I have been so very fortunate in that my Hodgkins Lymphoma is restricted to one area in my neck and seems not to have spread. My family and friends continue to be amazingly patient, encouraging me to be strong and resilient, especially when those attributes are occasionally in short supply. The journey of life is, quite literally, a once in a lifetime experience, unique to each individual traveller. When this particular phase of my journey is over (and I have every confidence it soon will be), I will be able to process it all a little better, and realize more fully how rich an experience this is.

What I do know even now is that I have so very much to be grateful for, and, in spite of the constant fatigue, I am able to enjoy this wonderful summer. Next week Howard and I will celebrate our 52nd(!!) anniversary. If he’s up for another 25 years, so am I!

Love,
Maggi

52 years ago…

… And now.